023: Balancing Faith, Family, and Gaming: A Pastor's Journey of Passion and Purpose. With Ricky Luong

      How do you balance a passion for gaming with pastoral responsibilities? Ricky opens up about the initial hurdles he faced, and how falling in love with the process rather than fixating on financial gains has made all the difference. Emphasizing the importance of consistency and personal growth, Ricky shows how faith permeates all aspects of life, not just formal ministry roles.

      In a heartfelt discussion, Ricky explores his career transition from the automotive repair industry to a more fulfilling role at his church, driven by a deep passion for connecting with people. He shares the emotional journey of becoming a father, reflecting on his own experiences growing up without a father and how that shaped his readiness to embrace fatherhood. Ricky recounts the profound moment of holding his son for the first time, feeling a sense of completion and purpose.

      Parenting young children is no easy feat, and Ricky delves into the daily challenges and joys it brings. Through personal anecdotes, he highlights the importance of responding to chaos with calmness and intention, not only in parenting but in any leadership role. Ricky emphasizes the value of difficult conversations and family dynamics, sharing his journey of navigating gender expectations and ultimately finding joy in the health and happiness of his children. Join us as we explore these rich, personal experiences and the lessons they offer.

Chapters

• 0:01 Starting a Christian Podcast and Streaming
• 7:11 Navigating Job Opportunities and Fatherhood
• 15:52 Challenges of Parenting Young Children
• 19:32 Parenting With Intention and Calmness
• 26:03 Navigating Difficult Conversations and Family Dynamics
• 30:47 Grateful for Healthy Sons
• 36:01 Naming and Welcoming a Daughter

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:01

and just let me know if it's too loud, too loud, too quiet. How's that? That's good, all right, yeah hello, hello testing that's your mic, uh, so obviously this is like it's a christian podcast, but so the only rule is no swearing.

Speaker 2: 0:19

Oh my god uh, and then is it this way or is it from the side?

Speaker 1: 0:25

it's yeah yeah, I always talk into it like this all right, perfect, yeah, um, and then it's more of just like free, yeah, free conversation. And then if, if it is going too long for whatever reason, you have to go, you can just be like oh man, I gotta absolutely.

Speaker 2: 0:39

I probably have anywhere between 45 minutes to an hour. Yeah, that's perfect.

Speaker 1: 0:45

And then, if by any, if it does go past that perfect, just say hey, man, I actually have to go.

Speaker 2: 0:51

Well the only thing is as bad as it sounds. Yes, I'm committed to my family Right, but Tuesdays, thursdays and Saturdays I've been committed to streaming.

Speaker 1: 1:01

Oh gotcha, okay, streaming oh gotcha, and so I'm just trying to stay consistent with scott. Like that, I get it you're doing twitch, yeah, nice.

Speaker 2: 1:07

So I've been doing that for a little bit. It'll be my fourth stream. Is it paying yet? No, no, but one day I'm believing for it for sure, but I think just wanting to fall in love with the process before I start thinking about, because I think that that's an end game. But I would be dude if it's coming out of like, for instance, you doing this, okay. Right. You're doing this because one, you're curious to you enjoy it. Three, you're learning and you're growing in it. Yeah.

Speaker 2: 1:40

Right, and it's something, like you said earlier, of like sometimes you don't realize how much work it takes, but the how much you love and enjoy it. Though, like dude, I'll do it. I know it's work at first, but man, I'll do it easy, you know. And so, getting this whole thing figured out it's like man, it's a lot of work. I had to buy, I had to put more stuff into it than I thought I would have to, but the end game, as much as I would enjoy and like to say, yes, money is going to be nice. Um, dude, I really started from a place of like, I love my faith, I love my family, I love my wife, my kids and I love the game, I'm just gonna put them all in one place. Yeah, and so that streaming that specifically is I love games, but I'm just gonna put them all in one place. Yeah, and so that streaming that specifically is I love games, but I'm a faith, I think is something that we just it just comes out of us, right. Yeah.

Speaker 2: 2:29

So I don't have to sit there and say, hey, I'm a Christian streamer right now. It just like, and that's said it this way, and he said. He said you don't see from a plumber who's a christian, right, that stuff's just gonna flow out of you, and so this whole screaming thing is something I'm looking forward to, so just growing it yeah, I've noticed that too.

Speaker 1: 2:50

With doing this just like falling in love with the process, because when I first did it I just wanted to get views and get paid like money. I was like this is what my goal is yeah it wasn't happening. Yeah, and then after a while, I was just like you know what then I? I would upload a video and I would just stop checking the views and I was like it was actually really fun to sit down and talk with someone that I normally don't talk with you know.

Speaker 1: 3:15

Sometimes I have friends on here and sometimes it's people that I don't really know it's really uncomfortable. Yeah, come on, that's awesome, but it's like you said it growing in it yeah, that's huge come on. So, since you, this is your first time starting now or is it?

Speaker 2: 3:30

is already live, or, yeah, it's already perfect.

Speaker 1: 3:32

Awesome, it's been going but I'm gonna leave most of that in. I'll probably cut like the very beginning when we were just figuring stuff out. But yeah, so that's your first time on here come on let people know who you are and what you do. We got a little bit about the Twitch, but there's more to Ricky. So what is that?

Speaker 2: 3:49

So, hey, my name is Ricky. I am a husband, a father. I work as a pastor at Res Life Church there in Granville right, I think it's Granville, wyoming, whatever area it is but I've been doing that since 2018. I've been an official pastor, I guess you could say, since, I think, dude, like 2021, maybe yeah, so it's going on three years, well, but yeah, that's my vocation.

Speaker 2: 4:22

But, more than anything, I think a conversation that I have with people quite often is you know the topic of ministry and working in ministry and the reality is that you are in ministry no matter what. There comes to a point where man recognizes that and they will give you financial stability, right and what an awkward way of saying a job right, but you know, that's.

Speaker 2: 4:46

That's something that I've. I had the opportunity to do. I was working, actually, at a, a dealership, at a body shop, and my wife and I were, um, we just got married in 2017. It was March and towards the end of 2017, we were pushing about nine months or maybe 10. So the conversation was about November. Yeah, so it could have been like seven. Actually, math, I'm supposed to be good at it, but anyways, I said I'm supposed to be good at it. It's hinting that I'm Asian. Anyways, sorry.

Speaker 1: 5:15

That's for the audio listeners.

Speaker 2: 5:19

But uh, yeah, right, Um, sorry if that was me, but towards the end of November. There she said babe, I really want to start a family and I'm like I don't. I never want to be the guy that denied my wife anything. Right, I mean obviously if there's something like super outlandish right Within reason.

Speaker 1: 5:38

Right.

Speaker 2: 5:39

But, um, that was one thing I never wanted to say. No, I'm not ready, you know. And even though that was 100% true, um, I said, all right, let's, let's start praying for either promotion where I'm currently at or provision for something completely different, and really just started trusting in the Lord. We prayed for about a month and a half or so. Um, so, yeah, it had to be October actually. Um, first week ish of December.

Speaker 2: 6:04

At this point, I was a part of the ensemble team at uh church. There during worship, and one of the pastors came up to me and said, hey, I've been thinking about you praying, praying and whatnot, and you kept coming up. Um, let's, let's have a meeting, let's have lunch, and I'm like, okay, sure, and this again, I was still working at that job and he came up and said, hey. He said, uh, there's a position that opened up at a church here and I think you'd be great, great at it. It's the director of first impressions. So, guest service ministry and whatnot. Um, he said, think about it. You've been coming up on my mind and it's funny because, as he said, that I'm like thinking to myself we've been praying for like the last month and a half for something completely different, or promotion again where I was at, and that unfolded.

Speaker 2: 6:51

I remember talking to my wife that day coming home from church and I told her babe, you would not like guess what happened today. And so I told her about it. I'm like and she's excited about it too, and some for people to know at Borgman Forge's, where I was working at, I loved it, man, I'm. I was a body shop estimator there. I didn't do anything with cars, so don't mistake that I I mean, the biggest thing I did was was you brought your car in. It was broken, whatever needed to be fixed, I'd quote. I'd get you quote and you'd give it to your insurance. I get you a quote and you'd give it to your insurance. And so, um, that was my, my big thing.

Speaker 2: 7:29

But, man, relationally, I love people you know, I love to connect with people and, um, the job was all right, but more than the job was the people there and I, just at that point, I felt like I was getting a good rhythm of connecting with people, the salesman, of connecting with people, the salesman, the owner, just all of it. I really enjoyed that place and so it made it hard to really want to leave that. And then, literally that Monday, after I had that conversation with Patrick Tom Smith, literally my manager goes hey man, I know you've been grinding and I know that you've been working hard. I just want to let you know I think that if you continue to do this, I think you'll be really, really good at it. You know, and I think that you'll be very successful in this area.

Speaker 2: 8:17

I've been talking to the owner about getting you promotion and whatnot and just waiting to see what comes of that. But I just want you to know that I've been seeing and witnessing just how, um, awesome you've been doing and I'm like, yeah, dude, um, maybe this happened a couple weeks earlier. Yeah, um, but you do like, I feel like that. That always happens in life, you know, like there's never like a clear okay, this is the only one, because as soon as yeah, it does.

Speaker 1: 9:01

And I knew. Do you think that you would have been in the wrong if you would have taken the promotion from the other job?

Speaker 2: 9:07

I think the kingdom of God is green until it's red right, and I think if that wasn't supposed to happen, then God would have told me one way or another. Yeah. But I also think that we as believers don't realize how much favor we truly have.

Speaker 1: 9:27

Yeah, Cause I think sometimes it's like I don't know which one to choose, Like which one does God want me to choose, and it's like sometimes we get options and that's not neither one is right or wrong, it's just you pick whichever one you would think suits you best yeah.

Speaker 2: 9:44

I think we are really limiting or we don't give God enough credit when we think if I pick, if I pick this, the Lord's going to be like oh no, no, it was right there. Clearly I hadn't talked to you first. Why didn't you what? Like why are you thinking so hard?

Speaker 2: 9:59

Like I don't think God's like that at all whatsoever. I think man God's going to bless you. I truly believe that he's going to be with you wherever you go. Obviously, there's some places you shouldn't go, and that's not what we're referring to. We're referring to options like a new job or a promotion. There are places that you shouldn't go that are super clear scripturally. Okay. That's not what we're talking about. I look at the camera because I'm like some people are like oh sweet, so I'll do this right.

Speaker 2: 10:33

But yeah, man, I think that if we choose to do it, and do it unto the Lord, we worship him unto the Lord in everything we do. I think he's faithful and he's faithful to bless us, whether we abound here in a company like Borgman Forward or here at a church that I go to and call home, right, yeah, and so, yeah, man, and I felt like I was supposed to pick the church, and so I did, and I ran with it and I told him a couple days later. I said hey, man, I just want you to know that I appreciate everything that you said. Something came up at my church, where, you know, one of the pastors presented something to me and I've been thinking about it.

Speaker 2: 11:15

And I didn't wisdom right, I didn't do it until. I had the job.

Speaker 2: 11:21

You know, don't do. Hey, there's a small opportunity that I might go and let people know, right? No, um, I waited until I knew for sure, and I did, and january 2nd of 2018 was when I started my job at res, and it was like two days later that my wife told me she was pregnant, and so it was just really cool timing that that god did what he did, you know. So, yeah, was just really cool timing that that God did what he did, you know.

Speaker 1: 11:45

Yeah, was there any fear when you found that out? That she was 100% going to be a dad, or was it all joy Um?

Speaker 2: 11:54

I think it was probably like 85, if not 90% joy, yeah, and 10% fear. Yeah. Um, because of my past, you know my dad. Um, he left me and my two other siblings. I was about six years old, and so my brother had to have been nine, and then my sister was about three, and he was out of the picture at an early age in our lives, just because of my mom and his messy divorce and altercations and whatnot.

Speaker 2: 12:23

And so, growing up, the way that I did lack of a father, I felt super inadequate to be a dad. I'm like how am I supposed to be a dad when I didn't get fathered myself? Right, because I feel like it's a huge part of the man's responsibility to instill fathering into their children. You know, yep, um. And so I didn't have that growing up and I just felt like super out of place, ill-equipped, not the guy.

Speaker 2: 12:56

And man, God just provided people in my life to really fill that void. Yes, I was still okay. Truthfully, it was up until the point where I was sitting in the hospital with my son in my arms that I felt I got it. You know that it wasn't until then that I felt the inadequacy. Leave because I did. It was just one of the coolest stories ever.

Speaker 2: 13:19

Um, not that I've heard God audibly, right, but there was a moment where I'm sitting in the hospital and my son sorry, there's like something in my eye, excuse me, but I'm sitting in the hospital holding my son and all of a sudden the scripture comes to mind in Matthew, where Jesus gets baptized, in Matthew 3, and it says the Holy spirit descends like a dove and the heavens open up and you hear God's voice. Right, you hear a booming voice saying this is my son, whom I'm well pleased, and in that moment God was like. People interpret that quite often as this like what's his name? Who played Darth Vader? James Earl Jones, him they kind of hear that in this like deep right or Mufasa voice.

Speaker 2: 14:11

The same guy, Right yeah exactly, um, they, they interpret as that, but I, just in that moment I heard this like, still voice of like man he said, rick, when I looked at Jesus coming out of the water, I said this is my boy and I'm so pleased with him. I'm so, I'm so happy that my boy's there and he's doing exactly what I've called him to do, and it made me realize that not that the boom voice or the epic noise was there, but the meaning behind it is what he told me and he said the way that you feel about your son before you is exactly the way that I felt about Jesus and it's exactly how I feel about you.

Speaker 2: 14:50

And that, for me, was just like a confidence changer, dude. I looked at my son and I was like, man, you don't have to do a single darn thing to make daddy love you anymore. And so, yeah, man, in that feeling of inadequateness see, whatever you want to call it, I'd be lying if I said it went away. But it just in that moment, I was like you know what? I can't do this. I'm not as disqualified as I thought I was Right.

Speaker 1: 15:18

So and then so obviously, there's that Joy that happens when he's first born, while raising him and your other children too, yep, has there ever been any question of like am I doing anything wrong All the?

Speaker 2: 15:36

time Dude all the time. It's funny. Part of me was like I feel like this is going to come up. You know, as we were talking about this man, I would be lying if I told you that I have 100% got it right all the time. Yeah.

Speaker 2: 15:52

And, um, man, there's so many moments in my life where, in the most recent years, right, the past five, six years of parenting, that I'm like God, like I know I'm supposed to be a parent, like. The question now isn't am I good, am I going to be a good father? I think the question is, like God, how can I not mess up today, right? Or how can I love on them better today? Because, man, kids have a dude. There's just so many opportunities for them to drive you nuts good ways and bad man?

Speaker 2: 16:32

um ample opportunities for my sons to um hit the right buttons, especially in the season of life, as they're getting older, exploring their options, looking where the boundary line is and then potentially putting one foot over the boundary line and making sure that we see them looking at them like see us looking at them that's around like what?

Speaker 1: 16:53

six or seven?

Speaker 2: 16:54

so my oldest is going to be six this year in september. My second born just turned four in march, but he's like the same size as his six-year-old brother dude's massive.

Speaker 2: 17:04

And then ruben is my third. He is going to be three in october and scout, my daughter, she just turned one in may. So quite a bunch there. But dude, they, uh, they just feed off of each other, especially my boys, my boys right now they're in the the stage where they're. They feel like they just have to constantly jump off like ledges and just have to wrestle. And my third, ruben, he just started discovering what it's like to scream like a girl. That's always fun.

Speaker 1: 17:39

He's the one that's. You said four, he you?

Speaker 2: 17:41

know he's, he's going to be three.

Speaker 1: 17:43

Okay, so he's the youngest boy.

Speaker 2: 17:45

Yep, and Zane's my second born, so I have jedediah, zane and reuben, and then scout um. Love them, great kiddos, but man, did they? Let me? Let me say this way they're being exactly their age, right? You know, something that caleb crocker and I talk about quite often is uh, learning in this season of my life, and in this season really just all the time, is responding with chaos, while chaos is already being ensued, if you think about it, like oftentimes when we're parenting our children.

Speaker 2: 18:20

Right, you respond and you talk to them in a manner that literally meets them where they are, and we can't do that as people, right, Whether you're a teacher, whether you're a parent, whether you're counseling kids, whatever it is, when we meet them at their level, it just gets more chaotic, right. And so a tendency that I lean to and I try not to is I can get very vocal and loud, so if my kids, if they're doing something, and it gets to a point where I'm like all right, I've told you like five times, that's it Okay, and then I'll go you know at the time.

Speaker 2: 18:55

There was one time let me let me tell you about an experience that I had. We just moved into our new house, so we've been there about almost three years now and as we're there in the living room, um, there's some couch cushions stacked up in the corner and, like looking back at it now as a kid, you look at that and you're like dude, I'm going to climb the heck out of that thing right now, and I should have expected it, completely Right, yeah, and I was already kind of at my wits end at this point with the kids and I'm like you guys, do not climb up there.

Speaker 2: 19:31

You're fall. I don't want you to fall. The I walk out of the room and all I hear is and I go in there and my second born, zane, is like losing it because he fell and he hit his elbow or something like that, and I was just so livid and I was like that's what you get, like. I was like I was like I told you, I told you not to do it. All of a sudden, I hear, because our windows open up in our living room, right where all this, this stuff is going on. It's opened up halfway or the fullest amount that this window could be open. And I just hear an Amazon package to get dropped.

Speaker 2: 20:02

And I look out the window and there's a truck there and as the truck trucks just there, I see the guy walking back to his truck and I see a neighbor walking their dog looking into my house, wide open house, like window. We didn't have blinds, were like that and it's like they were looking at like what the heck's going on in this house right now? And I felt so naked, so like exposed, because I'm like the world knows how I parent, right, um, and I just felt so embarrassed dude. I literally just like dude. I sat, I just shut down like I didn't even move. I just sat there. I was like like 15, 20 minutes because I was mad at myself for overreacting, I was mad at myself for yelling at him, but I was mad that like right there before the world you know yeah.

Speaker 2: 20:53

Oh, dude, that house over there, that house, don't go down there, don't even go near that house. They're unhinged over there. It's just chaos, right? All that? Just going back to parenting and just like trying to teach, trying to coach, and really just chaos. Meeting chaos with chaos is one of the worst things that we can do when we're leading anybody.

Speaker 2: 21:19

So whether you're a leader of department, of a department at work, you're leading volunteers, you're leading children, you're a counselor leading students or a teacher leading students, whatever it is or you're parenting right, responding chaos with chaos is never the answer, and so I found myself and have been more intentional about not getting there with them right away. My intentions, or at least what I've been trying to do more often, is when I feel the pressure to get loud and revert to the spanking spoon or whatever it is, I have to take a breath and go. Okay, this dude is overreacting right now and I can choose either to meet him there or I can be, and this is not easy, and I'm not saying that we get this 100% dialed in all the time Right.

Speaker 2: 22:13

Um, I can sit there and embrace him right and hug him, which is the last thing. When my kid's going nuts and he's screaming like a freaking banshee, the last thing I want to do is hug him. And I remember there was one time where we were in, we were in the room and it was like bedtime and my youngest Ruben, my youngest boy he just screams at the top of his lungs bloody murder. And I get so mad and I grab him and I was about to let him have it and Lord said stop, he needs you to hug him, dude. In that moment I picked him up and I hugged him so hard, bro, and I just started weeping uncontrollably and he starts hugging on to me tight, whatever he's his arms are wrapped around my neck yeah, because what he didn't need in that moment, which I wanted to give him, was a yelling mm-hmm but he needed in that moment was his father to love him, even in the midst of chaos.

Speaker 2: 23:10

If I would have responded with yelling dude, it would have just gotten worse. But my job as a father it's not perfect, but it's to love him through that, love him in those moments and I'm not saying that there isn't a time dude to I don't know. There isn't a time to yell Right, but, man dude, most of the time when that stuff's going on, they don't need that. What they really need is for you to embrace them, and that's usually the last thing you want to do, that moment, you know.

Speaker 1: 23:36

Yeah so yeah. With that Cause, I agree. I think that being calm is the best way, even when you have to discipline. But how do you go about being calm and bringing out that discipline on kids. Yeah man.

Speaker 2: 23:52

I. It's a it's a proactive thing, it's it's you. You doing that is not let's do that. I'm going to decide to do that in the moment because that never happens in the moment.

Speaker 2: 24:02

Yeah, you really have to come up with that strategy ahead of time, right? Okay, I know that if I do this and it's been something that I've been chewing on, meditating on I don't need to go and meet him there. Okay, if it's been something that I've constantly told myself, don't meet him there, don't meet him there, don't meet him there. It happens. What am I going to do? Hopefully by now I'm not going to meet him there, right, and so you have to be proactive in deciding ahead of time. When stuff like this hits the fan, right? Yep, what I need to do is respond with what I've prepared. I'm not going to freak out, I'm not going to yell.

Speaker 2: 24:38

There are times where you have to like, there's, there's moments where, like, if it's a safety thing, um, if it's something that's going to cause them harm, I have to do what I can in that moment. If I'm far away and my son's running towards the road, absolutely I'll be yelling across that field or wherever it is that I am. But if there's a time where I'm sitting there face-to-face with him and he's doing something that I'm not okay with, there's a moment, an opportunity that I can meet him at his level, physically, lower myself and meet him face to face, eye to eye, level to level, and say, dude, this isn't the way to do this yeah, and in their mind.

Speaker 2: 25:15

They're like dad's not domineering me.

Speaker 2: 25:17

What dad's trying to do is actually understand me yeah, and I'm not perfect at it, but I would say the answer to what you just asked about how do you prepare or what do you do it's just being intentional about planning that ahead of time and that's just dude. That's just relationally with anybody, right, and not everybody are not everybody's a parent, right? So I want to take this to the next step of just like, if there's a conversation that you're going to have or you are dealing with someone or a coworker, whoever it is a friend, right? Don't walk into that conversation, Guns blazing, Right. So I started blasting, right, Like is that Danny DeVito? Yeah, that's not what you need to do.

Speaker 2: 26:01

What you need to do is like, come up with a game plan. Okay, there's a book that I've read recently or less recently is probably three, four, maybe five months ago but it's, um, man, it was something crucial conversations, but it was teaching you to have those hard conversations. People do not want to have hard conversations. As much as we can, we try to shy away from them when, in all reality, we need to have those conversations, even if they're awkward and uncomfortable, even if they're awkward and uncomfortable. But, man, there's times where I've, like, I've just tried to lean into them as much as I can. If I know that there's a potential awkward conversation that I need to have, I'm going to have it, and I've just. Am I perfect at them? Absolutely not. There's definitely been times where I've positioned myself in them and it just didn't go the way that I planned. But if we never face them, we'll never grow Right, right, and the more you have, the more you develop opportunities to grow. From that that I mean like, like we're talking about the podcast.

Speaker 2: 27:10

Right, as you do more, you get more comfortable. Right, you get to know, okay, they're talking about this. So that triggers a question in me to be able to keep going with the conference, right? Yeah. But you can only learn that and develop that as you continue to do more and more and more right, it's not like you're like oh, boom, and some people are like that, some people aren't.

Speaker 2: 27:26

I'm definitely not so, as you're growing in this and you're doing it more, you're able to start. Okay, this is the question that I want to ask him. This is the next thing. So it keeps the conversation going. You only learn that as you're thrown into the mix, you know. And so, yeah, man, I'm a huge advocate for crucial conversations and the things that we need to talk about. But anyways, yeah, going back to the answering your question of how do you prepare, it's just, man, if something means a lot to you, for instance, like parenting relationships, whatever it is, be intentional with having that planned out beforehand, not not waiting till again the the rubber hits the road, but you're planning already, ahead of time, before you get to the track. What, what course I'm going to take, you know?

Speaker 1: 28:12

So and don't let it build up. Don't let frustration and anger build up. Yeah. Okay. That's good. So are you going to stop at four kids or are you planning on having more?

Speaker 2: 28:24

Oh, dude, I'm tapped out.

Speaker 1: 28:32

Gotcha Literally.

Speaker 2: 28:39

Yeah, I just, I just get it. No, Um, we, I'm sorry, that's just, that's a very cut and dry answer. Um man, we, we felt at peace with four. That was actually the that's, that was the desire, and we're like, by any means, I'm not like. All right, Lord, that's it. You don't get to decide. I mean, I kind of made that action step, but the Lord's going to. I've heard stories about dudes getting the snip snip done and they still managed to have kids. You know, I've heard both sides of the story where one dude did it, His wife did it too.

Speaker 2: 29:13

They still had kids right.

Speaker 1: 29:15

That's crazy.

Speaker 2: 29:15

Dude, when the kid, when you're supposed to have another kid, you're supposed to have another kid, right.

Speaker 2: 29:20

It's going to make a way. Um, but all that to say, man, we. Um, but all that to say, man, we. We had three boys and then one little girl came and it's funny Um, I had my boy and I was praying for a girl all those times and the Lord really had to deal with me.

Speaker 2: 29:40

On that second one, he had a dude. So I had a boy. In that I wanted a boy first, I always wanted a girl first. But I don't know, man, it was like a week or two before we found out the, the gender reveal. We did all that. I just felt like the switch flipped and I just I wanted a boy first, I wanted a boy, I wanted my boy first. Right, yeah, and it happened. I was geeked, I was thrilled. Happened, I was geeked, I was thrilled, dude, and then we found out we were having another one. I was like Lord, let this be a girl Like I want, I want a girl, let it happen. And prayed, did all that stuff and had a boy. And I remember sitting in the ultrasound and before we found out that we were having a boy, I sat there nervous with my wife. But I'm like man God grants us the desires of our hearts.

Speaker 2: 30:29

Right, right, nope, nope. Sorry, that's wrong. Um, but he does things his way and quite often we think the God that agrees with us is the God, but quite often it's just our other conscience of fleshly desires. Anyways, I was sitting in the room and the lady's like are you guys ready to find out? I'm like I mean, I already know it's going to be a girl, but yeah, let's do this, you know she goes, you guys are having a boy. And I was just like, dude, there's no way you found that out that fast. I was like are you sure?

Speaker 2: 31:13

okay, and I just sat there, just frozen, and my wife was like oh my gosh, you weren't happy and I wasn't happy bro, I was so disappointed and like dude.

Speaker 2: 31:27

When you realize that, like kids, just being healthy is one of the most important things like gender is, it's great to want and desire. But when you find out that your kids are healthy and they're doing great man, that right, there is a blessing in itself. But Ricky, with one kid and one kid on the way, it wasn't there, you know, and he, he, me, I was so disappointed and so the lady left the room. She's like I'll give you guys a minute. And I just sat there and my wife was like babe, are you okay? She's like babe, are you gonna be okay? And I was just like so mad but hurt, and we, we were driving home. I had to be at access that night. That was when I only had my my, my first, born there, and so I was still going to access our college ministry at res there were you still singing, yeah, okay yep, um, and we were driving back and she's like she.

Speaker 2: 32:22

She just didn't know what to say and I dropped them off and I started going to access and I literally just started like I was like god, why would you? Like what?

Speaker 2: 32:32

like I was just mad right and, uh, I, I I felt this impression of the Lord saying aren't you glad? I'm like, all right, say what you're going to say, dude, don't play with me. He said aren't you just glad that your son's healthy? And he brought me to this moment of this story that I, that of some family members that I that I have, who had their daughter pass away literally 10 days before their before a due date and had their daughter pass away literally 10 days before their before a due date and dude.

Speaker 2: 33:02

God like just humbled me, dude. He was like here you are, your son's healthy and you're upset because you're having a boy. When there are people out there walking in hurt, wounds and pains because of like, and it was like god wasn't. Like don't hear me wrong, he wasn. And it was like God wasn't like don't hear me wrong, he wasn't. Shaming me, right.

Speaker 2: 33:20

He wasn't like condemning me, he was like dude, your son's healthy Rejoice, be glad in that Right. And it, dude, it just made me feel so bad. Like like it. It made me just. It made me feel silly for for wasting time being ungrateful. Yeah.

Speaker 2: 33:40

And I just started weeping and I said thank you Jesus, like thank you Lord, and it's not like someone else's, like wounds or pains should make me happy. But what made me realize is that, man, so often in life we take things for granted right. So often in life, because of these silly things that happen, we go oh no, and we we throw everything out right yeah and it's just like no man, like that's not the attitude to have, and so it just helped me be grateful and thankful.

Speaker 2: 34:10

And so third comes around and I remember sitting in the hospital room or in the the ultrasound there, and the same girl walks in from a year ago and she looks at me. She goes, hey, how are you guys doing? And I'm like, hey, it's good to see you again. She's like, oh, you know, um, I was like, yeah, you guys, you did our last ultrasound. She's like I don't, I don't think I did. But, okay, you know, like kind of thing. I was like no lady, I'd remember you. Okay, you're part of this testimony, right.

Speaker 2: 34:40

And so she does her thing and I, like my wife and I going into it, and I kind of told her I was like, babe, no matter what, if the baby's healthy, I'm, I'm gonna be happy with that, praying and believing for a girl still, right, yep. And she does the same thing she did last time, bro, like you're having another boy. And and I was just like, all right, sweet. My wife looked at me. She was kind of like waiting. I was like I'm good, like this is awesome, but I knew I had made this, like there was a name that I fell in love with and I wanted it to be our second born, but my wife wanted to really name him Zane, and, and she just felt like Zane's the name that we have to like, that's it.

Speaker 2: 35:23

So I had a girl named already planned out. I had a boy name that I think, or that I wanted to, and, um, we found out that we're having another boy and I knew that it was going to be Ruben and Ruben. If you don't know what Ruben's name means, it means behold, I've given you a son, you know, and coming from the testimony of really wanting to grow, so bad that it brought me to tears right Versus now being content with boy or girl, as long as they're healthy. But if it is a son, I want to name him Ruben, because God's given me another son and I'm going to be happy with that.

Speaker 2: 35:57

How I want to name him Ruben, because God's given me another son and I'm going to be happy with that. How did you find that name? I don't know, dude. We just had a list of names that we really wanted, my wife and I. You know she had a couple of boy names, I had a couple of boy names, she had a couple of girl names.

Speaker 2: 36:08

I had a couple of girl names, and just names that we fell in love with, and Ruben was one of them for me, for me, and I looked it up, what the name was, and as soon as I found the name, as soon as I found out what the meeting meant, I was just like this has to be, it's gotta be, it's gotta be one of those, it's gotta be it, you know. And so I have like three or four names on my list and literally when I, when I knew what that name meant, I was like right away, I was like these other names don't even matter. And so the other name that I had for the girl was Anani. Her name would have been Anani Mae. If I would have had a girl, I forgot what Anani Mae means, but I just love the name Anani, you know. And Anani Mae goes with.

Speaker 2: 36:49

I feel like any last name not really maybe maybe Anani Mae Parker, right, Like there you go. I was like wow, that does, yeah, it does. Anani Mae Skywalker, that sounds pretty cool too. Yeah, it does.

Speaker 2: 36:57

So, anyways, I'm sorry, I just had to go there, but, um, ruben was the name, and then my daughter came around, and by the time she came around, anani Mae just wasn't it anymore. Um her name would have been Anani Mae Long, but I just didn't feel like that was it. And then my wife kind of came one day and she said yeah, babe, what do you think about Scout?

Speaker 1: 37:19

And I was like man, it's a cool name.

Speaker 2: 37:22

Scout, scout, and I kept saying it, and saying it, and saying it, and I was like I like it. I really like the name and I'm like well, what do you have for a middle name? Because Scout Long is great, but she needs, like she can go by Scout, right, which it is unique and whatnot, but professionally I recognize too that Scout doesn't sound as professional right.

Speaker 2: 37:44

Yeah, can you imagine being a CEO of a company, and oh, what's the CEO's name? Scout, right, you know, but we wanted to give her a name that made sense, a name that flow, um, flowed well with her whole name.

Speaker 1: 37:57

Scout Skywalker.

Speaker 2: 37:59

Yeah, scout Skywalker, long Right. Um, that's sick. But I also recognize that it's not just a name that I have to have. It's her name, right, it's it's her name. So I had to make make it make sense, and so we were going through it, and one day I saw Eliana and Eliana. The name Eliana means the one who was promised right, or the one I think so. No, it's something along with the one that God has promised, or the one that God has answered, or the blood, something like that. Hopefully, by the end of this, I'll let you guys know what it is, but we just felt like it was perfect, it was right, and so we did so. Scout eliana long nice.

Speaker 1: 38:40

Yeah, man, what was the story like when you found out that you were having a daughter after the? Three boys dude was the same girl too. That like showed you the I know it was a different girl.

Speaker 2: 38:51

Okay, yeah, it was a different girl. I should have said in your face, right? But, um, man, truthfully, dude, we weren't sure what we wanted to do, if we wanted to wait or if we wanted to know right away. And so we waited, we waited, we waited as long as we could and there came to the 20 weeks and we were like weren't sure yet, and so we waited a little bit and I remember the letter was before us. You know, we didn't, we didn't wait until like the whole 40 weeks. There, we waited long enough and we opened up the note and, dude, I'm telling you, bro, like we, I actually recorded it.

Speaker 2: 39:27

We, as soon she, I'm sitting there in the past, or the the front seat driver there, my wife sitting in the passenger, she has the phone off to the side there she's recording us. And I couldn't look, dude. I was like, oh sorry, my watch. I just sat there and I was just like I can't. And all of a sudden I just hear her chuckling and I'm like, oh no, I'm like what's going on? And I look over and she gives me, she gives me it and she's crying at this point and I see it's like congratulations, you're having a girl. Because I told her the story about the two boys, yeah and dude, bro, I felt like I won a million dollars Because we were craving it.

Speaker 2: 40:12

It's not the right word, but I had such a deep desire to have a little girl, dude. I had such a deep desire to have a little girl, dude. I had such a deep desire to bro. All the things I'll get to do with my daughter right To take her on the dates. Right To walk her down the aisle. Bro To do the daddy-daughter dates. Man, dude, I'll even finger paint my nails if I have to, but she's going to be the one to do it. I'm not doing it on my own, right for fun, right no, she's gonna be the one to do it all that stuff, man, and and I, I knew that that's, that was a desire.

Speaker 2: 40:41

We were praying for our daughter and we were praying for her qualities and her characteristics, and we were praying for beautiful eyes, brown hair, all these different things. And here's this little girl coming out and she, like, she is everything we prayed for, you know, and she's probably, she's a little spoiled, um, obviously she's the youngest and the girl Um but man, dude, like going back to the four kids conversation, right, this is originally where you what you asked, right?

Speaker 2: 41:12

Yep, um, if you're going to have any more. And the moment she, we were in the hospital room it was just me, my wife and scout and she was there and I just dude, I, I can't, I can't explain it, other than this feeling of like. I just felt like my family for the first time was complete, like I felt like we were like, like that was it you know, and uh man, I, uh man, I just, I just knew I felt again, I feeling complete.

Speaker 2: 41:39

We were like I think this is it. So the light, red light, came off of that. I'm not sure if that means anything.

Speaker 1: 41:45

I don't know it might've. Sometimes it just shuts off. Okay, cool so okay, which is perfect anyway, because we're almost at 45 minutes. So I did that was a beautiful story and thank you for being so vulnerable dude for all the listeners and in front of me too, because it it's good for me too to be on that, to be honest this dude's weird.

Speaker 2: 42:07

Okay, that's what you. I just didn't know. That's what I was thinking the whole time, yeah come on, but thank you for coming on.

Speaker 1: 42:14

Yeah, dude my okay.

Speaker 2: 42:16

So you know you're obviously this whole time, you're know you're asking questions about me. But for you, man, for all the listeners, I guess, what is your desire for this podcast? Like, where is your desire for this to go? What's that look like?

Speaker 1: 42:28

It's a good question. Right now, I like where it's at Just being able to post whenever. I don't have to be like oh, I got to come out weekly because I have two other jobs, right now. So it is kind of hard to get them in. Yeah, yeah, but I would like to see it grow so that I can talk to other Christian podcasters that I listen to on YouTube. I think it'd be really cool to have conversations with them. Yeah.

Speaker 1: 42:55

Some of the bigger ones, but I think, it'd be really cool to have conversations with them Some of the bigger ones but I also don't want to get wrapped up in trying to be famous because I don't think that's what it's all about, so I'm a little torn on. Yes, I want this to grow, but I want to be for the right reasons.

Speaker 2: 43:08

That's where I'm at. Well, I think the desire is to glorify. Okay, the whole thing about this is that your desire is to glorify. Okay, the whole thing about this is that your desire is to glorify God through who you are. Right, and having him be a part of this is, I think, your game plan right, and so there's no shame in that.

Speaker 2: 43:28

Man, I think just what you're doing allowing people to have conversation, to be themselves is huge, and one of the conversations that I have with Caleb quite frequently is this is who we are and that's why we're doing this. Right, it's not like, like the plan is, let's just get like a million views and let's get huge and like, whether it's four or five or whether it's for 500 or if it's 5,000 or 5 million, right, I'm still gonna do it. Yeah, and I think that's your heart man is. Is that you're? You're wanting people to know. Man, this is just, this is out of the overflow of who you are and it's not work.

Speaker 2: 44:02

Yeah, it takes time, but it's not work for you to do this. It's actually something you enjoy doing, right, you know, and seeing a couple of clips that I've seen before coming from your podcast, talking with people and whatnot. Um, it's just to to have open conversation about faith, open conversation about who they are, and usually giving people a platform. I think there's a lot of people talking, but not a lot of people are listening, and I think it's huge that you're taking the position of. I want to take this place where people can feel like they're being heard, which is huge. Well, thank you.

Speaker 2: 44:36

Absolutely. Man Keep tearing it up, Thank huge, so thank you Absolutely.

Speaker 1: 44:38

Make you turn it up. Thank you, yeah, dude. All right, thanks everyone for listening and have a blessed week, come on.